Wednesday, February 22, 2012

If It's Not Seen It's Not There

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, mixed mania, rapid cycling with periods of psychotic features. I have treatment resistant Bipolar and have consulted with some of the top psychiatrist's in the country. Since December 2008, I've been out on LTD and now receive SSDI and I'm on Medicare. My symptoms had become very severe and difficult to resolve, and now need to take off label medications, which mean I take meds not usually used to treat bipolar or mental illnesses.

However, this really is not the point. The point is people are so cruel and mean when it comes to mental illnesses. In addition, that includes medical doctors as well, sometimes even worse than the public. If it is not a visual disability, folks feel it's not there. Why should those folks with mental illnesses live in fear of judgment, secrets and fear of discovery?

For years I was treated by friends and family, as bipolar Betty (my name has been changed for privacy), and not Betty with bipolar. I'm lucky in one aspect of my life, and that is the fact that I married a wonderful man with Bipolar II. However, there are some aspects of my illness that he does not even understand. However, thankfully I do have someone to discuss how I'm feeling with.

There are some folks who have mental illnesses that have NOBODY to discuss their issues with. I have tons of friends but it always boils down to them having a hard time relating to symptoms that they have never had. Ironically, sometimes the best place to be is locked up in a psych ward, because at least you’re with folks who get it!!!

I cannot tell you how many medical doctors I've come across that automatically think that because I have a mental illness, my medical issue is related to that. I once went to an endocrinologist for hormonal issues I was having. I told him I was having night sweats and hot flashes. He had the balls to tell me, nothing was wrong physically, but the reason I was having hot flashes was that I was having such severe anxiety that I was holding my breath, thus causing hot flashes, and that it all was mental. One more second in that ASSHOLES office, I would have thrown him out of his 10th story window. I have since learned NEVER to include my psych medications when filling out forms when you go to new doctors. If there is a chance though of complications with prescribed medications I will tell them, but I've found out that this usually isn't necessary.

I've decided to start blogging to help myself have an outlet of releasing my feelings and thoughts, and to also help others feel that there are folks out there who GET IT...... So please continue to read, this is my first blog so hopefully I'll get better with my words over time!

Bipolar Betty


Anonymous said...

I am so glad you started this blog!

A Piece of My Mind said...

Thanks! Please keep reading, and pass the blog on to those you think might enjoy!!! We all need to bond together, to help others "get it"