Sunday, March 25, 2012
Creatively Mood Disordered
I cannot even recollect the amount of times I have been told I am so creative. I believe having bipolar allows me to feel deeper, lover harder, run faster, and see details that those without mental illnesses do not sense or experience.
Personally, the best poetry I produce is when I am in a mixed state, with manic energy, in conjunction with a down phase, where for me it usually feels like a cold, dark, and depressing depth of despair.
There are also times in my life where I am so manic, I hear color, and I see sound. The flight of ideas, sped up thoughts, heightened senses, such as visual, auditory, or other stimuli is beyond words. There is a medical term for this called hyperacuity, which means sharpness of perception.
For me personally, communicating through poetry when I am feeling sad and alone helps me to spew out my depressive thoughts, with manic urgency. My brain is usually five steps ahead of my hand on the pen. I feel such powerful emotions; I find it hard to not let them out in some outlet or way, be it poetry or some other form of art.
Why is it that individuals with mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, lean towards careers in the arts? It has been suggested that mental illness and creativity often go hand in hand. So many themes in poetry are about loss, despair, sadness, and depression.
For instance, Sylvia Plath was a beautiful poet who ended her life by suicide. In 2001, a psychologist by the name of James C. Kaufman created the term the Sylvia Plath to refer to the phenomenon that poets are more susceptible to mental illness than other creative writers are.
Some folks with bipolar disorder worry that they will lose energy and creativity if they agree to take medication for their illness. Personally, I have noticed that my medication does control my mania and depression, thus only allowing spurts here and there to permit me the ability to write poetry.
Whether it is drawing pictures, making jewelry, writing poetry, or writing my autobiography, I always feel creative energy within my soul. For those with mood disorders out there, can you relate?